Divorce is unlike anything you have experienced in life. Divorce brings extreme change in lives. For many, the change is perceived as positive; yet for an equal number of others or more, divorce represents their worst case life scenario becoming reality. We don’t marry intending to divorce; we marry to become life partners but for those who do divorce, at some point along the way one spouse separates from the other emotionally and mentally prepares for divorce over a long period of time. When the divorce card is finally dealt, that spouse is emotionally ready for this life altering event while the other is most likely taken by surprise and devastated. Therefore, the emotional effects caused by divorce are different for everyone depending upon the circumstances existing at the time divorce is initiated.
Seeking help from a mental health professional is well advised for anyone who is not prepared to deal with the anger, hurt, pain, feelings of abandonment, despair; and fear of the unknown that usually comes with divorce. Most of us are entirely unprepared to deal with these extreme feelings which we may never have felt before, so there is no shame in seeking counseling to get through these very difficult times.
Finding the right attorney is also critical to helping you through a situation that you want no part of. Your lawyer must of course be highly skilled as a family law and trial attorney, but must also possess another set of skills to guide you through the emotional chaos that will likely ensue. Young family law attorneys are not equipped to deal with the emotional aspects of divorce, much less the legal complexities in what is perhaps the most difficult and challenging area of law in which to practice.
Your lawyer must be able to keep you emotionally focused during the process whether you are ready for the inevitable or not, for critical decisions are made all along the way. Clients who are not emotionally prepared for divorce are very difficult to represent. Nothing feels right to them, nothing seems fair or just, and they often resist the entire process. Many times a client remains in total denial throughout the case; and denial within the divorce process is not a good thing. Choosing the right lawyer is therefore critical to you and your best interests.
Many times clients change lawyers mid-stream, typically when they become frustrated believing the case is too much for their lawyer to handle. It may be that their client’s emotional state was too much for the lawyer to handle.